December 12, 2006

You Can't Handle the Truth

So Monday afternoon in Brooklyn Civil Court I was chosen to serve on a jury. Again. Well, the last time was in 1999, but it feels like only yesterday. Or last year. I don't know, that's kind of the way jury duty is. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise, but it feels like lightning striking twice. As in: I've never won the lottery but I get chosen to be on a jury two times in a row? I am being unreasonable... but only because I do not understand.

For reasons that may forever be a mystery to me, I am very appealing during the jury selection process. Irresistible even. Of course, an argument might also be made that I stood out because I didn't arrive wearing a sweat suit and I spoke in complete sentences.

What troubles me particularly is that once again my jury duty arrives when I have started a new job. Employers love that. It's become my thing: being wrenched from the office with the first few months of work. Fortunately, documented jury service ensures a six month reprieve before being called up again.

If you have never been to jury duty in Brooklyn, I recommend getting there early enough to watch the orientation video. I got delayed at the metal detector checkpoint so I missed about 15 minutes. When I finally settled into a seat the colonial settler was already being dunked underwater as to determine his guilt/innocence. "If he floats", explained Ed Bradley from beyond the grave, "he is considered guilty. If he sinks, he is innocent." He is found innocent. Whoops. Sorry to ruin it.

Next up was Dianne Sawyer to tell us how important our role in the judicial system is and to provide a general pep talk. After that the court officer revealed some reasons why certain folks might be released from the jury duty obligation and asked those people to file out by category to be questioned in the next room.

Out of curiosity I looked up to see who was looking to be excused because they had been convicted of a felony.

The most popular reasons for potential dismissal seemed to be "primary child care giver with no job" and "inability to understand english". Three translators (Chinese, Russian and Spanish) were assembled to assist with rounding up the latter.

Soon after I was called up with a group to head over to the Civil Court. By that afternoon I was selected. Juror number 1 as a matter of fact.