August 15, 2006

Unintentional pet

I have a mouse in my apartment and he's a crafty bastard. Twice now he has brazenly appeared as I sat here at the computer. Taunting me.

It was subtle, but I perceived a dark motion out of the corner of my eye Saturday evening as I struggled with a complicated search string that would yield photos of Parker Posey's boobies. When I turned to look, there he was... just ambling along. Totally ambivalent to my presence.

I immediately went down the street to the hardware store to pick up some traps. At the behest of a friend I agreed to get the non-lethal variety. I am sure you are going to ask...

Well, what are you going to do with the mouse once you catch him? You're not just going to let him go again are you?

That is an excellent question and I honestly do not have an answer for you. Fortunately for us both, the question has been rendered irrelevant as it appears that the mouse in question is much smarter than me and has successfully avoided every one of the traps. This, despite the medley of what I assumed to be irresistible rodent comestibles that I lovingly placed deep within the little plastic traps.

It has been three days now.

So now we are at a draw. I have refused to go food shopping since the weekend because I am certainly not going to support a freeloader and the mouse has decided to try to wait me out. I am pretty sure he's trying to get into my head because after my first two sightings I swear that I see him all the time, but I can never be sure. A flash here. A rustle there. Something low and fast out of the corner of my eye. Goddamn you, you mouse!

I think I am going to win but I'm really not sure.